


Cactus

by Leonid42



Series: The Power of Music [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Music, Slow Burn, getting there, hispanic keith, music fic, them talking about stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 10:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonid42/pseuds/Leonid42
Summary: Two weeks later Keith is not sure what to do after Lance had gotten the guitar, he thought everything would be more lively, but that didn't seem to be the case. Forced to confront his feelings, Keith seeks Lance out, and gets to hear his voice again, but ends up more lost than ever. Music can change a lot, but sometimes it changes nothing at all.





	Cactus

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. Back at it again. Sorry for taking so long to update, I just got so busy with life but I really am trying to make a point to update more. Again, if you like this series please comment and drop Kudos, I don't know how long this will run since I'm still feeling it out, but I hope you enjoy the analysis of the two I have so far.  
> Link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7_al3uciVc  
> Cactus by Gustavo Cerati

“Two weeks. Two weeks since he last got that stupid guitar, and I’ve barely heard anything from him” Keith exclaimed loudly, hearing his voice echo off the hanger walls as he sat near Red. He thought sheepishly for a moment that he was being too loud, but the thought was quickly squashed when no other noise returned other than his echo.

“He should be down here teasing me, or flirting with Allura, or something! He shouldn’t be holed up in his room” Keith said as he flailed his arms about, feeling the sharp stab of anger and confusion seep into his bones. He had been like that for about a week now, unsure what to do with the sudden change in his daily schedule when Lance wasn’t there to derail it completely. Keith had even got bored with training he had done it so much lately, having no one to bust in mid-session to claim they could ‘totally do it better, just watch’.

It annoyed him, and the worst part was he was not sure why he cared so much.

Keith leaned his head back against Red’s giant leg, letting her metal body cool his heated mood. “I just don’t get it Red” Keith began with a sigh, closing his eyes as he continued. “Everyone just seems fine with this. Shiro hasn’t said anything, Pidge is too busy to care, and Allura doesn’t seem to care at all.”  Vaguely as Keith talked he wished Red would respond, but ultimately thanked she couldn’t, because he had told her too much deeply personal stuff already, and the last thing he needed was a giant metal cat telling everyone his secrets. “It seems like the only people to care other than me are Coran and Hunk, and Coran just keeps mumbling about ‘human culture’, and Hunk hasn’t told me anything since he talked with Lance five days ago.”

Keith knew he was being unreasonable, hell if he wanted answers he could just talk to Lance himself, but even with the time gap Keith was too scared to admit his feelings. Even the mere thought of Lance’s soft small when he sang made his body heat up and run cold at the same time. It was infuriating living like a hot cold pack everytime a certain guy’s smile popped up in his thoughts.

“Who am I kidding, I should just go talk to him like a normal human person,” Keith said with a groan, burying his face in his hands. “Life is one of the hardest things ever, it’s amazing how the payout is not always worth the time we put in.”

“Poetic” a voice cut in, breaking up Keith’s echoes that still ricochet about the room. Keith, in surprise, slammed his head back against Red’s leg and took a minute to respond as he reeled from the sudden pain that shot through his head.

“Ow dammit,” Keith groaned, looking up to see the perpetrator, eyes falling on Hunk who was leaning casually against the arch of the doorway as Keith rubbed the back of his head. “Hunk what do you want? You never come down here this late.”

Hunk nodded in agreement, pushing off the doorway to walk closer to Keith, examining him with a scrutiny Keith guessed only a mother could provide. “True, although perhaps some people have bedrooms near air ducts and can hear the Greenday musings of their teammates,” Hunk responded with a smile, reaching his hand out for Keith to grab onto. Keith grabbed Hunk’s hand sheepishly, suddenly recalling all the times he had expressed attraction to Lance, and also his bad versions of Paramore songs.

“I was just working on my…. Metallica songs” Keith lied, averting his eyes as Hunk’s gaze sharpened.

“First of all, my first statement was just a joke, I can’t hear anything from here, I just got curious when I couldn’t find you in the training room. Second of all that sounded blatantly like a lie, and makes me curious what you are singing down here.”

“.......... Paramore.”

“Old or new Paramore”

“Both. I like their breakup songs”

Hunk laughed loudly, each laugh bouncing off the nearby walls and returning toward the two. However, the sound was warm, and bubbled inside of Keith, making his own laughs join Hunk’s louder ones. It was warm and friendly, but as the sound died down, Keith felt the eyes back on him, far too knowing for comfort. As the laughter died down, and the echoes stopped, Keith was reminded vaguely of an old Greek myth, about how echoes had been formed from a broken heart but dismissed the thought as laughter was returned back to him. 

“You could just go talk to him you know,” Hunk said softly, watching Keith’s eyes dart back and forth in shame.

Yeah, sure, now that Hunk said that it seemed obvious, but it was harder to just accept that minutes ago, and Keith felt like he may have been right to remain oblivious for two weeks since he was dealing with emotional confusions.

“Well, since you’re just going to stand here for a bit and attempt to justify your avoidance of him I’m going to go, but I think you should go see him” Hunk advised, smiling as he began to walk away, “And your lucky Lance is oblivious, because everyone else can see right through you.” Keith watched Hunk leave, feeling momentarily lost with the new information. The team had figured it out, or at the very least Hunk had. Keith could feel himself starting to freak out, his emotions overflowing his reasoning and crashing about him like the waves on the shore. He had never been good with emotions, choosing to ignore them in favor of bottling them up and chucking the bottle as far as humanly possible. The only problem with that solution, as Keith was finding out now, turned out his emotions were carbonated, and just waiting for that last shake to burst. He had been down this road before of total emotional breakdown, but before he resorted to throwing all his stuff on the ground and punching a hard surface, Hunk’s words echoed in Keith’s mind once more.

“I think you should go see him”

If Hunk said it was good, there was something worthwhile, and who was Keith to deny that logic? With a sigh Keith began to walk toward the bay door, looking back at Red one more time for assurance. While Red did not exactly roar and pound her paw like Keith hoped, but her large unmoving presence in his life was still comfort enough. With a breath to calm his nerves Keith began to walk. 

____________________________________________________________________________

It felt familiar, maybe too familiar if Keith were to be honest. Mere months ago he had been trailing the wistful siren song that echoed about the halls, and now like a wayward sailor he was seeking that song again. “Maybe Hunk was right, I’m pretty damn poetic” Keith laughed to himself, but his laughter died off as the sound of guitar strumming echoed across the walls. Keith was almost embarrassed how quickly he started moving toward the sound, and suddenly that siren analogy wasn’t so idiotic. As a child he had made fun of the movies where a temptress was able to woo entire groups to her whim with her voice, but as his foots echoed along with the guitar chords he suddenly understood the movies a lot more. There were no words yet, and the chords were sporadic, almost like the musician was debating what to play, something Keith found himself growing both ecstatic and nervous about. On one hand, he would be able to hear Lance play from start to finish, but on the other he would have to confront him head on, not just quietly waltzing in midsong to sit next to him. It was almost enough to send him crawling back to the training room like the cowardly lion, but as the guitar strums started to become cleaner and more concise that cowardice abandoned him. He wanted to hear Lance and he would be damned if his fears stopped him. Funny how one can run into the face of danger daily, but the times of great courage happen off the battlefield.

Lance was in the observatory, and as Keith took tentative steps into the room he could see why. The room was bathed in a warm glow created by the stars, a sense of comfort radiating through him as he looked into the room. While the ship was comfortable, it was too white sometimes, reminding Keith of a hospital, but the observatory was different. The light didn’t radiate off the walls, to remind you how clean and sterile it was, but simply danced about the room to the melody Lance created. Pillows and blankets were strewn about as if someone had created a makeshift seating area, but even the randomly thrown objects were comforting and friendly. It radiated Lance. 

“Took you long enough to venture in here,” Lance said, throwing a smile over his shoulder at Keith. Lance had stopped playing to look at Keith, standing in the doorway like he was lost. Keith felt small, the room growing about him, and the expanse of space suddenly felt too close. However, as he looked at Lance’s soft smile he swallowed his nervousness and stepped further into the room, letting the rest of the castle fall behind him. It was just him and Lance. 

Lance looked beautiful sitting there, but not in a way Keith had never realized before. His clothes were rumpled and a little beaten, the cloth starting to feel the age of constant use and space travel. His hair was rumpled and unkempt, obviously foregone in the last two weeks in favor of the instrument in his lap. Even Lance’s face, which still radiated thanks to the care he put into it, showed slight bags beneath his eyes, a physical mark of what being part of Voltron had done to Lance. He looked vulnerable and human, and at that moment Keith felt pure adoration fill his entire being. 

This was the person Lance wanted no one to see, the one he kept hidden behind his humor and revelry, and yet here was that same Lance smiling warmly at him and patting the seat next to him amongst the pillows. 

“Yeah, I got a little lost along the way.” Keith joked, watching Lance for his reaction. Lance was quiet for a moment, staring and Keith intensely, and for a moment Keith felt like he had messed up, but after a breath Lance was laughing loudly, voice echoing around the room, and even vibrating some of the strings, a sound Keith felt blessed to have heard.

“Who knew you had such a sense of humor, where was this months ago?”

Keith took a spot next to Lance nestling himself against a red pillow that looked to be the most comfortable, and if Keith was honest, the closest one to Lance. “Well, what can I say, someone, must have taught me well.” The silence that followed was full of unspoken words, drifting about the room like the warm lights of the stars that cascaded down to where they sat. It was nice, something that Keith found himself enjoying immensely.

“Why have you kept to yourself these last two weeks,” Keith asked suddenly, regretting the silence he had broken, but he had to know. 

Lance sighed, lazily plucking at one of the guitar strings, allowing the lonesome note to echo back to them before he spoke.Vaguely, Keith found it poetic that it was a single note, and not a whole chord Lance had chose, and again he remembered echo, forced to repeat the sorrows of others. “It’s just been hard, you know? I have to stay strong, strong so no one worries about me, especially not when we are fighting an intergalactic war up here, but I am not strong. Not like you. I like to relax and goof off, I like to joke and have fun. I’m too attached to my family. I can’t just give up everything and take on the ruler of the universe, I’m scared.” As Lance continued on, his voice started to break at parts, slight gasps cutting into his monologue, and as Keith looked over he could see tears beginning to drip down Lance’s cheek, streaking across his skin to drop down onto the space guitar in his hands.”I thought I was holding up fine, and when I got this instrument I was ecstatic, and I still am, but I miss my family so much. This guitar reminds me of the days I would spend with my older sister singing and laughing, listening to the locals tell us their stories and swapping our own. It hurts, and I don’t want to hurt, but I can’t stop it.” By the end Lance had given up trying to hold back his tears, simply letting them fall freely from his face as he tried to calm himself down with deep breaths.

Keith remained quiet for a moment, mesmerized by Lance. He was so strong, and it boggled Keith’s mind how Lance could ever think himself to be weak. Lance’s emotions were what made him strong, stronger than Keith could ever be, and for a moment Keith felt like he had failed Lance in making him hide those emotions. “Listen, Lance I am really not good at this, and I can already feel my hands getting sweaty just talking about emotions. Actually I now have a nervous sweat all over.” Lance laughed a bit, wiping the tears from his eyes and looking back at Keith, with a now small smile that made Keith want to keep going, “but you are so strong, probably the strongest person I know. You have everything to lose, and yet you are out here, fighting for those people, for a reason. I mean, you think I’m strong, but I have nothing to lose, nowhere to go. My cause is I have nothing better to do, but you? You are out here for everyone back home, and even though you have somewhere to be besides here, you chose to stay here.” As Keith talked, he watched Lance, taking in all the little details of him. The way he blushed when the topic was on him, the way he used the back of his hand to wipe away tears, even the way his eyes seemed to crinkle with his smile, and the slight sparkle his irises reflected. 

“Don’t sell yourself short” Lance said with one last smile, ruffling Keith’s hair in the process, “We all know you're the hero.” Keith frowned, about to make a comment about Lance’s obsession with his hair, but choked on his words as Lance leaned further in, hugging Keith tightly while his breathing calmed down. “Thank you,” Lance said softly, sending warmth of adoration coursing through Keith’s body at the words. 

Before Keith could say anything Lance was pulling back, situating himself with the guitar across his lap, as if nothing had happened, and if it weren’t for the slight lingering warmth of Lance’s body Keith would have wondered if it really did happen.

“Now, you came here to hear me play, didn’t you?” Lance said with a knowing smile, laughing as Keith seemed to be caught off guard by the question.

“Well, I suppose if you were going to play I would listen, just to see if you are still any good” Keith jabbed back, feeling comfortable falling back into the friendly banter the two usually shared.

Lance smiled smugly at Keith, letting his fingers slowly pick at each of the strings, allowing the notes to return the room to its original calmness, “Oh we both know I’m good darling.”

Keith could feel his face heating up at being called darling, and thanked every star that the room was dim enough that Lance didn’t see his slowly spreading blush. “Well lucky for you I have the perfect song. It’s a song my sister and I sang a lot at the bars back home, tourists liked it, and couples tended to claim it as their vacation song.”

Like so many times before, Keith found himself leaning back, ready to hear Lance’s voice echo about them, and like before Keith thought for a slight moment he could handle it. It started softly, with a few notes picked out softly, but as Lance started to sing Keith felt himself melt. 

_ Un cactus suaviza mis yemas con su piel _

_ Tiene cien años, sólo florece una vez _

Keith could see why this song was popular with the couples, and why so many people liked it. The song was soft and inviting, and reminded Keith of sitting outside on warm nights looking up at the night sky. 

_ En tu nombre, en tu nombre _

This was the third time Keith had heard Lance sing, and every time so far it had floored him, but this time Keith felt like he was sitting somewhere private, somewhere special. Lance wasn’t singing just to sing, he wasn’t singing to a crowd. He was singing for Keith.

_ Cuando te busco _

_ No hay sitio en donde no estés _

Like the times before Lance closed his eyes as he sang, letting the notes and words transport him to whatever world he went to when music was involved, but Keith didn’t mind. He was happy enough to be a passenger in this trip, and took comfort in being able to just hear Lance’s voice dance about his ears, each word melding with the guitar strums in an enchanting dance.

_ Y los médanos, serán témpanos _

_ En el vértigo, de la eternidad _

‘You should see him’ Hunk had said, and he had been right, but who needed to see who?

_ Y los pájaros, serán árboles _

_ En lo idéntico, de la soledad _

Keith looked back at Lance, seeing tears begin to fall from his cheeks again, but he didn’t look sad. The tears were not for what he may be without, but what he already had.

_ En tu nombre, en tu nombre _

Keith sat there, entranced by the man before him, and all the confusing feelings within the past two weeks finally made sense. He needed this, they both needed this, and he felt stupid for not realizing it sooner.

_ Y cuando te busco _

_ No hay sitio en donde no estés _

Lance still had his eyes closed, lost to a world that Keith could only gaze at longingly, but as Keith gazed longer he felt his arm reach out slowly, moving what seemed to be out of his control. Keith watched almost mystified as his hand moved closer to Lance’s face, fingers wide as the sudden desire to wipe away the tears clinging to the other’s face washed over him. 

_ Y los médanos, serán témpanos _

_ En el vértigo, de la eternidad _

_ Y los pájaros, serán árboles _

_ En lo idéntico, de la soledad _

_ De la soledad... _

Perhaps it was later than he thought, because as Lance began to slow down with the song, angelic voice growing softer, Keith began to wish even more to let his hand fall on Lance’s cheek, to throw away his caution and act on instinct, but for once in his life that brashness that drove Keith had left him, leaving only a guy with his hand reaching out. A guy trying to rest his hand on the greatest treasure he had ever seen.

_ En tu nombre, en tu nombre _

Lance’s voice echoed a bit as the song ended, voice softening along with the last chord of the song, and as the walls finished echoing back the words to him Lance began to slowly open his eyes. Keith, on the other hand, watched in awe as Lance finished up the song, but as he saw those bright blue eyes start to open, he wrenched his hand back quickly, feeling a sting of regret inch up his fingertips as Lance smiled softly at him.

“Well,” Lance said quietly, not even allowing the walls to respond back with Lance’s own words, “I have been here long enough, and we have a long day tomorrow. We should both head to bed”

“Yeah” Keith breathed out, wincing at how rough his voice sounded compared to what had just enveloped the room mere moments ago, “I’m just going to be another minute or so, go on without me.” Lance looked at Keith for a moment, eyes piercing through him in a way that made him realize why Hunk was such good friends with him, but after a moment Lance’s eyes softened, whether because he found what he was looking for or because he gave up, Keith couldn’t tell.

“Whatever you say mullet,” Lance said with a smile, pushing himself off the ground and walking out of the room with his guitar slung across his back. Once Lance’s footsteps drifted far enough away Keith let out a deep sigh, body seeming to crumble as he gripped his hand that almost touched Lance close. Again, the story of echo flitted through Keith’s mind, and he wondered how she had felt, being only able to repeat the footsteps of those she cared for, never able to create her own.

“What am I doing?” Keith asked, half expecting the walls or the sky to answer him back, but nothing came. His fingertips still tingled, as if realizing what they almost had, but Keith ignored it, and as he felt tears start to prick at his own eyes he ignored that too. Ignored it all, even as they began to fall down his face freely. He ignored the way his body closed in on itself. Ignored the way his quiet sobs sounded in his ears, and eventually, as he made it back to his room and collapsed on his bed, he ignored everything, and let the mindlessness of sleep overtake him. He was echo at that moment, doomed to only repeat the others words, while never uttering his own.


End file.
